Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
