You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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