it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I am mentally ready for anal.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
