it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
