dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
