I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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