U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
