is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
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