bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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