god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Randomize
