feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
