break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
