Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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