I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize