Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
My dick has a subreddit
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
