SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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