The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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