Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
