so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
