It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
he just fucked me for my cheese..
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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