What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
where does the pee come out of this thing
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
