who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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