I love black thongs
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
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