do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
