I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
And my parents said I crawled through the house
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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