well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
