brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
