for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
you inspire me to be a worse person
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
We had sex on a dog bed..
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
