what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
