We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
