I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize