He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
