I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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