I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
