How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
high people should be assigned attendants
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
