that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
