I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Randomize
