I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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