forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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