I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize