All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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