so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
