I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
We are all done wearing pants today
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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