I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
