It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
