I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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