God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
He shit in the fireplace
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
