You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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