He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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