she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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