Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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