erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
