scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
