I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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