i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
