i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
