Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
