ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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