College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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