I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
either way he was missing a nipple.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
