these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
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Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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