I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
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There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
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They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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