No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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