Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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