Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Randomize
