is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
