im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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